Too much for today.

Dec. 15.2009

Hey Charlie, How are you?

Today I arrived to Korea. Two days before I was at my friend's Graduation Party. It was at a canbin in the Blue Ridge Mountains. By the time we arrived to our lodge, it was very very dark. Something about driving in the dark, on top of mountains, sprinkled with unfamiliarity really trips me out. Anyways, I barely slept that night because everyone was having so much fun. When I came back from the trip my friends and family asked me how the party was. I tell them it was fun. Then they ask me what I did, and I cant really answer that question because we didnt really do anything. When I try to call back that night, I just remember people yelling and laughing.

The day after, I went to church, because I need to and want to. Wether the need and the want comes from guilt, habit, or my love for God.... I cant really tell. I would like to say I didnt want to miss church because I love God and my church, But I think it would be a lie if I told you that was the whole truth. Many times when I am church, I feel so confused an lost.
I get the sermons, and the songs... I dont get lost there. Its after the services. Things get so fast paced after the services, as if I am standing in middle of New York time square. Everyone is moving with a direction in mind, I dont know where to go, who to follow or what I even should do. I mean I know of everyone there, but for some reason, I stand in the coner of the felloship hall like a man trying to get onto a fast moving train. But I have to admit that there are many good people there. There is this friend of mine named Ben. He recently had a daughter. Every time I go to church, he approaches me to say hi and just to ask about how everything is. I enjoy his presence and our topics of discussion which mostly relates to our current life issues - and most of the revolves around our family and work. What is different about him is that when I talk to him I dont feel rushed. I mentioned earlier that I feel like church is time square sometimes. So it happens that many times I feel rushed to answer, because they are probably asking to be polite. If they were really interested like Ben was, I would tell them the truth about my life. But I know, they are too busy to care. But I hope that they know, I want to know the truth about their life.

Charlie... there are many more things to write... but I am too tired now. I know you sincerely enjoy my letters. There is so muh of me to reveal to you. But due time I will unwrap my self to you one by one.

I dont know,

I just want you to know who I am.

Chris